Now, I don’t want to come off all Richard Littlejohn here, but really. As a non parent myself, some of you will argue that I have no right to comment on the parenting skills of others, but I have never held any strong religious beliefs either but that doesn’t stop me from knowing that priests playing with little boys is not right!
Living in a city like York, which is a nice city, with beautiful settings and some lovely people, I can’t help but be dismayed by the appalling parental skills shown by some of its residents. Take for example, this demonstration of parental concern witnessed by me 2 days ago on a bus:
Father (sitting at front of bus to child of 3 or 4 at back of bus): Paris, sit down Paris. She is going to hurt herself. Paris sit down.
Mother: non committal grunt.
Now call me old fashioned, but when I was a child, I would have had to sit with my mum for that whole journey. Not once did the Father of said girl make his way up the bus to either retrieve his child or to sit with her. I can’t help but wonder whether Russell Howard is right, that ‘you should not be allowed to use your fanny until you can control what plops out of it’.
This example is just one of many I could highlight, but I am sure you will all have your own horror stories to share with the world. Now, having spent a lot of time working in the customer service industry it would be easy to argue I have become jaded to the world, especially to things like controlling your children. Working in a cinema, you see the best and worst of people, managing a toy shop you also see both. I will very briefly head back to the young family of the bus to touch upon the subject of naming your child. I hate to be snobbish but is that 3 year old going to thank her parents for naming her after Paris Hilton? I can’t think that she has been named after the city, because both parents gave the impression they had never been further away from home than a day trip to Flamingo land, except for 2 weeks in Torremolinos spent eating chips and drinking John Smiths. Or will little Paris grow up to be just as ignorant and forgive me, stupid as her parents. One can’t help but fear for her future.
On a similar note, I had a family in my shop just a couple of weeks ago, I had to laugh. Now, again, I am in no real place to judge, but it is my humble opinion that couples who are both over the age of 45 should not really be reproducing. Certainly not couples who both dress entirely in tweed and would be more comfortable herding sheep. At that age, you run the risk of your children getting to be 20 and having their parents have to move in with them, what sort of life is it for a young boy to want to kick a football around with his dad, only to not be able to in case his dad’s hips go? Coupled with these factors, they have a tendency to name their children things like Angus and Millicent. People so ill suited to parenthood that they insist a child not spend his pocket money in a toyshop, or Waterstone’s because, and I quote, ‘You can buy it online when we get home for less money’. Yes, you can, but that is the kids pocket money, in five years time he will be spending it on 20/20 and Blue Nun. Take advantage of the fact that he wants to buy a book at all, not making him wait till Amazon deliver it in a weeks time. Let him read it today and expand his horizons. Let the kid have fun, life is shitty enough as a grown up that he doesn’t need to have his natural enthusiasm for life stifled out of him at 8!
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